My dad and I had a strained relationship. And I need to work through that. But I do have a deep sadness and I know there was love there. What I am craving is realness, the fact that not everybody has a perfect relationship with their Dad. And even though he’s passed I can be honest about my experiences and memories of him. Those are my truths. That man needed to do more and he did not.

This is what I posted to Facebook on the day of his funeral, January 10th, 2025. And I was desperate for authenticity.

I found out last Friday that my dad passed away, today is his funeral. I had a complicated relationship with my dad. He wasn’t able to take accountability and make changes. He showed up as a father and grandfather to others. They got to experience time and love and kindness from him. Good for them. I wanted to make a post to say it’s ok when people pass we don’t have to pretend they were something they weren’t. And we don’t have to be ashamed of our own complicated feelings. I’m glad for those who have happy memories and experienced something special they can cherish. I have some happy memories and a heart full of pain, and a life I lived without a father. I hope he’s found peace.